hey british airways, can I get your digits?

when I first lost my suitcase, the nice lady with the clipboard said, "don't call us, we'll call you." Fine, I say, but is there a phone number I can have, just in case? "Non madame," she replied. "We have a phone number, but no one ever answers--can you imagine how busy we'd be if we had to answer the phone all day long?"

Then on Tuesday my long-suffering grandparents took me back to the airport, where I insisted on getting confirmation that my loss of luggage was indeed on record in the BA system. I was waved through customs (sans passport, mind you) into the baggage claim area where I could easily have a)made off with someone else's suitcase or b) continued on through the terminal, perhaps clandestinely onto a plane but most definitely into any of the dozens of duty free shops that you're only allowed into if you're subsequently boarding an international flight.

I managed to get a confirmation number for my loss, and was told that since 2000 suitcases were missing, it had taken some time to get them sorted out but I'd absolutely have my bag that day, or perhaps the next one. HA, HA! Then I asked what I should do in order to get reimbursed for all the clothes and toiletries I had to buy. "Here is a phone number," said the lady. "If you call them they'll tell you exactly what you need to do to get reimbursed."

So I called the number maybe, like, 800 times. Every single time I called it was busy. Finally this morning at 9 AM I call, and get a recording that says that "all requests for reimbursement must be made in writing and no phone requests will be answered. Thank you for flying British Airways and we hope to see you again soon."